apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
