my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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