there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
