under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
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I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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