My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
