Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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