Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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