What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
