we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
