Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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