she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
