I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
