I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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