Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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