so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
