We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
