I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
