Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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