I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
