people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
