time to smoke my breakfast
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
