the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
