Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize