hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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