do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
BRING THE BAGELS
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
