Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
