Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize