You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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