Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
