I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together