The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"