I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.