We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.