got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.