And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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