he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize