I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
