I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
When are your genitals available?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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