The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
