There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
