You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
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I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
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I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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