Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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