So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
