Your face is a jimmy john
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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