I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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