There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
