nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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