yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
