Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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