Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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