i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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