no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
