I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
