I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
