Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't deserve a penis
You made out with two different species that night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You've changed since you got that strap on
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
