it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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