Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
