Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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