if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
