I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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