My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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