I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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