i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
