she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
