Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
