Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
