i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
