god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
not ubering you a puppy
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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