the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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