He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i believe in u and ur pee
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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