I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
