I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
