planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
