it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
