no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
