Kiss
Puke
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
